I’m Worried, My Student Isn’t Replying

Concerned mother checking her phone

It’s important to remember that this is a challenging and exciting time for your student. They’re juggling competing priorities—classes, friends and extra-curricular activities, not to mention the typical challenges of early adulthood—and can become distracted.

However, if you’re feeling worried or concerned because your student hasn’t returned your messages or calls, here’s what you can do and some info about support resources at UBC.

Urgent health or safety concerns

If you are concerned that your student is at risk, and you think or suspect an urgent health or safety check may be needed, or if there is a known emergency, first responders (i.e., police, ambulance and fire) are best positioned to assist your student.

You should immediately call 911. The police will attend, and Campus Security and residence staff will assist and give them access to your student’s room.

If you live elsewhere and are not able contact local emergency responders via 911, contact the local police (RCMP) detachment (24/7) at 604 224 1322 instead.

Are there consequences for calling 911?

  • Your student will not get in trouble if they call 911—or if 911 is called on their behalf.
  • There is no cost for using the 911 service.

If your student isn’t replying

From our experience, in many cases where a student has not replied to a family member’s messages or phone calls—which is especially common in the first couple months of the academic year (i.e., September and October)—the student was often busy with the many academic, social and extra-curricular activities at UBC.

Other scenarios included:

  • They were asleep
  • Their phone died
  • They didn’t have a chance to reply
  • They simply missed the messages or phone calls

There are also circumstances where a student is choosing not to reply or avoiding communication with an individual for personal reasons.

What to do if it’s not an urgent health or safety concern

If you do not think an urgent health or safety check is needed, but repeated efforts to contact your student, via different contact methods (i.e., message, phone, email, etc.) have failed, and you are growing concerned about their wellbeing, here are a few options:

Contact the local police (RCMP) detachment (24/7): call the local police detachment (RCMP) at 604 224 1322. The police will discuss the situation with you and help determine the best course of action—which may include a wellness check. If needed, Campus Security and residence staff will assist first responders and give them access to your student’s room.

Contact your student’s residence front desk (7 am–10:30 pm): You may call your student’s residence front desk. Within the following 24 hours, our staff will send a message to your student to inform them that you have phoned and that you have requested they contact you.

Please note that our staff are not able to provide wake-up calls, give reminders about classes or assignments, or relay messages.

Due to privacy legislation in British Columbia:

  • We will be limited in the information we can discuss about your student, if any.
  • After reaching out to your student, our staff are not able to report back to you and share information about your student.

Difficult transitions to life at UBC

If you are in contact with your student, but you are concerned that they are experiencing difficulty transitioning to UBC, please encourage them to reach out and access resources available in residence and elsewhere on campus, including a wide range of health and wellbeing resources—24/7 crisis support, self-help tools, peer resources and much more.

Your student’s privacy

We take parent, guardian, family and friend concerns seriously, and we will follow up with your student. But please keep in mind that UBC is required to respect your student’s privacy. We are not able to share information with you or phone you with an update about your student—even in the above situations.