Living With Roommates

Getting Acquainted

First encounters can sometimes be a bit awkward and first impressions deceiving. Try easing into the initial conversation with new roommates by using simple conversation starters, then exchange more detailed information when you feel comfortable around each other.

Begin with easy questions

• Where do you call home?
• What’s your major?
• Why did you choose UBC?
• What are your favourite things to do?

Set basic expectations

• How should the unit common space be used?
• How loud is too loud?
• How do we feel about parties or gatherings in the room/unit?
• How we will keep our unit safe and secure?

Plan activities together

• Have lunch, take a walk, or attend a residence program together.
• 1st year residents: Attend Roommate Bootcamp together during the Week of Welcome.
• Upper year residents in suite-style communities: Arrange a unit visit with your Residence Advisor.

Discuss sleep and study habits

• Are you a morning or night person?
• Are you a heavy or light sleeper?
• Will you be studying in our unit or elsewhere?
• Can you study with music on or with guests in our unit?

Talk about alcohol

• Do you drink alcohol?
• How would you describe your drinking habits?
• Do you think it’s okay to drink alcohol in our unit?

Discuss safety & security

• Talk about always locking the door when you leave your unit and when you’re sleeping. Ensure your roommate(s) know to always take their keys.
• What is the policy for letting guests into your unit?
• How will you communicate if you’re uncomfortable with a particular guest in your unit?
• Always check in with each other, especially if you haven’t seen one another recently.
• Let each other know when you’re going to be away, when you’re planning to return, and what to do if you don’t see one another for a while.

Guests and sharing

• How do you feel about overnight guests?
• Is there a time that guests of other genders cannot be in our room?
• Can guests of other genders use our washroom?
• Are there times when you’d prefer not to have guests?
• Do you prefer to be asked before someone borrows something?
• What items are going to be shared?

Discuss cleaning responsibilities

• How do you prefer to arrange our unit?
• How do we define a clean unit?
• How do we rotate cleaning and household chores?
  
• Who is responsible for buying the toilet paper and cleaning supplies?

Conflicts

Sometimes there’s conflict between roommates, typically due to noise levels, unwanted guests and cleaning responsibilities. If you’re having trouble, speak to your roommate(s) about the issue before getting other people involved. It’s always best when roommates take a direct and tactful approach to conflict resolution before asking a Residence Advisor for help.

Cleaning

• Divide the work and take turns.
• Set a cleaning schedule and clear expectations (what happens when someone fails to do their part).
• Hire someone to clean, then split the bill.
• Decide how household items (cleaning supplies, toilet paper, dish soap, etc.) will be purchased.
• Create a schedule for composting, recycling, and waste removal and assign roles to tackle each.

Daytime noise

Some daytime noise is reasonable, however:

• Set limits on reasonable volume from TV, music, Skype calls, video games, etc.
• Choose to go to a residence study room or library to study.

Evening noise

• Set limits on reasonable volume from TV, music, Skype calls, video games, etc.
• Consult with your roommate(s) before inviting guests over.
• Decide on computer cut-off times in a shared room.
• Use headphones or earplugs to reduce noise.

Guests

• Only on weekends?
• Only on weeknights, before 10 pm?
• Only during the daytime?