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How parents can help

By Admin on January 17, 2014

Mother and daughter looking at computer together

Parents frequently ask, “what can I do to support my student?” or “what things should we be prepared for?” While every family is unique, we’ve observed some common themes over several years of living and working with new university students.

Before they leave for university

Parents can be supportive and trusting, encourage independence, and provide a safety net. Here are some recommendations:

  • Familiarize yourself with campus resources and phone numbers.
  • Ask your student to share important emails from the university admissions office.
  • Check UBC Student Services’ dates and deadlines page for significant dates.
  • Read your student’s residence contract.
Book recommendation!

Pick up a copy of Don’t Tell Me What To Do, Just Send Money—The Essential Parenting Guide to the College Years, by Helen Johnson and Christine Schelhas-Miller. It offers a clear, current look at issues students and parents will face. If you only have time to read one book as your student starts university, make it this one.

While they’re away

It’s important to email or call

While it’s important to connect regularly, don’t wait by your laptop or phone to hear back. Students may want to know more about what’s going on at home and be less inclined to return your call or text and let you know what’s going on with them.

Accept that you won’t know every detail of your student’s life

Remember that returning your call or text often will not be their first priority.

Show care and concern about their lives

Ask questions, but try not to invade their privacy. Often students want to let you know what is happening at their own pace.

Be prepared for “the phone call”.

Often it comes just after midterms or near the end of first term. At that point, work is piling up, marks aren’t what they’d expected, they’re feeling overwhelmed and their coping skills begin to fail. They’re upset and, chances are, they’re going to call you.

But don’t panic. Remember that this is normal and, as much as you’d like to alleviate their stress, you cannot (and should not) fix their problems. They will rely on you to reassure them they can successfully work through the challenges.

Consider sending a care package

You can also purchase UCare gift packages—a sure sign of care, concern and support.

Visiting UBC?

If you think that a weekend visit would benefit them (or you), UBC Conferences and Accommodation offers hotel rooms and suites right here on campus.

When they visit home

Anticipating challenges

Understand that your student may have difficulties returning home for holidays after experiencing life on their own. For several months they’ve been concerned with only their daily routine—not the family’s. Sometimes they come home with a new outlook and new expectations for family members. It’s a transitional time for everyone.

Ways to support the transition

Stock up on favourite foods for your visiting student—and have plenty of laundry detergent on hand! Even though student life might be great, be careful about romanticizing about university life as the best years of one’s life. For a student who may be struggling with exams, papers and career worries, this may not provide the intended comfort or reassurance.

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We acknowledge that SHCS and UBC are located on the traditional, ancestral, and unceded territory of the Musqueam people. We thank the Musqueam Nation for its hospitality and support of our work.

  
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  • Home
  • Getting Started
    ▼
    • Prospective Students
    • Returning Students
    • Graduate Students
    • Parents, Guardians and Families
    • Important Dates
  • Residences
    ▼
    • Residences Overview
    • Residences
      ▼
      • Acadia Park
      • Brock Commons – Tallwood House
      • Exchange
      • Fairview Crescent
      • Fraser Hall
      • Graduate Colleges
      • Iona House
      • Marine Drive
      • Orchard Commons
      • Place Vanier
      • Ponderosa Commons
      • Ritsumeikan-UBC House
      • tə šxʷhəleləm̓s tə k̓ʷaƛ̓kʷəʔaʔɬ
      • Thunderbird
      • Totem Park
      • Walter Gage
    • Rooms & Suites
      ▼
      • Shared Room
      • Connected Single Room
      • Single Traditional Room
      • Six Bedroom Suite
      • Four Bedroom Suite
      • Three Bedroom Suite
      • Two Bedroom Suite
      • One Bedroom Suite
      • Studio Suite
      • Nano Suite
      • Townhouse
      • Student Families
    • Residence Map
    • Indigenous Names
      ▼
      • Musqueam Names at tə šxʷhəleləm̓s tə k̓ʷaƛ̓kʷəʔaʔɬ
      • Indigenous Names at Totem Park
  • Applications
    ▼
    • Essential Application Facts
    • Important Dates
    • How To Apply
    • Fees & Payments
    • Eligibility
    • How We Assign Rooms
    • Residence Contracts
    • Cancellations
    • Refunds
    • Subletting
  • Dining
    ▼
    • Meal Plans
      ▼
      • Orchard Commons, Place Vanier & Totem Park
      • Suite-Style Residences
    • Where To Eat On Campus
  • Residence Life
    ▼
    • Residence Life Blog
    • Meet the Team
    • Community Living
      ▼
      • Rights and Responsibilities
      • Solving Problems
      • Living With Roommates
    • Residence Standards
    • Health & Safety
      ▼
      • Safety & Security
      • Health & Wellness
      • Counsellor in Residence
      • Fitness in Residence
      • Renter’s Insurance
      • Emergency Preparedness
      • COVID-19 Residence Rules
    • Services & Amenities
      ▼
      • Bed & Bath Linens
      • Sustainability Features
      • Residence Parking
    • Moving In
      ▼
      • Before You Leave Home
      • What Should I Pack?
      • Move In Day
      • Move In Market
      • Move In Day Volunteer Registration
      • Switches & Transfers
    • Get Involved
      ▼
      • Residence Programs
      • Professor in Residence
      • Grad Student Programs
    • Events
    • Student Family Housing
      ▼
      • Get Involved at Acadia Park
      • Moving In & Out of Acadia Park
    • Winter Break Residence Closure
      ▼
      • Welcome to your holidays in residence guide!
      • Your holidays in residence self-care guide!
    • Mindful Move Out
      ▼
      • Cleaning and departure checklists
  • Other Housing
    ▼
    • Living Off Campus
    • More Campus Housing
    • Visitor Housing
    • Commuter Student Hostel

  • Apply to Residence
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  • FAQ
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